When a lot of people hear “364 pipeline spills in 2012” they think it’s a big mess, like a nearly realized advent calendar of crap. What they fail to see is a revolutionary energy distribution system about to achieve NATIONWIDE COVERAGE.

And remember, that’s not just gas or oil flowing through the streets of Arkansas–it’s dilbit, the thick toxic hydrocarbon stew produced by tarsands. So roam wherever, and take your energy source with you! That s–t is sticky as hell, it’s not like you’re going to be able to get it off.

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• Inside Climate news: Keystone XL Primer, Secrecy Still Shrouds Diluted Bitumen Risks